IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
