so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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