i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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