that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
