How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
