too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
