How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
