This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
