Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Two words: nipple clamps
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