Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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