Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
