Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
