If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
