At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
