turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
