so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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