So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
