it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
