yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
