you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
