I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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