i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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