drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
