I'm so fucking centered right now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
