How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize