wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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