She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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