Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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