Someone shit on the floor
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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