I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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