Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
