I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
