youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is my gift to your gina
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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