His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
