Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
