So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
