dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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