so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
