apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
