Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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