would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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