need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
