Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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