I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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