Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
