This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
