I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
