The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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