I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
