I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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