You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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