Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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