I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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