Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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