Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It's like God shit irony all over that family
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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