The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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