I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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