Is it normal to miss your booty call?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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