his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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