I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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