Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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