M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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